".......So many things in my heart that i would love to say. the conceiving part always gets over the incubation period is superbly dealt with but it as at the time of delivery is that all my efforts fail.
Just a small example to prove this. i am currently reading Kane and Able by jeffrey Archer. can not relate? Prior to this I was reading Earnest Hemmingway's 'old man and the sea.' Still can not relate? I read the little prince, life beyond death, etc etc too. Now can you relate? No? Try now. I had a bookmark, which passed from one book to other constantly, keeping pages and do not know what not for me. Still Couldn't make out what i mean? Well then I must describe the bookmark. The bookmark isn't a postcard with scenery on it. Nor is it card strip with a lovely quote, nor is it a picture of my beloved....... . Just a few folded sheets of paper. I have not dared to open them but I know its not blank. I do not know why but whenever I look at it I get a feeling something that must not be revealed lies inside. But sometimes I feel its just waiting for me to reveal it. Sometimes I feel it is better not to dig the buried. Sometimes I feel that what is buried is still not dead but alive and awaits to breathe. (But this is not possible I had myself seen the ashes). But I must say whatever it is it depends on me and waits for me. It silently persuades me. When I deny, it rebels, sometimes(it has mastered the art of understanding the situation and rebels only when I am alone). But then I think what good it would do to anybody if it were brought out. But then again I think of 'phoenix'. Could it be the newborn? Must be (I sometimes hear the infant like cries). Or is it what I call the 'dead' itself.the phone just buzzed and it was you.
whatever it is but you can be sure of this that it will not go to the other books after this. nor is it going to keep pages for me in 'Kane & Able'. oh! i forgot to tell you one important thing. once few days back i had dared to look through the folds of the pages. i could manage to read the first line. It read 'dear Samir Bhaiya. ........"
