"What's new?"

"What's new?" He asked me today.

And like always - I had no answer. Or rather for the past so many years, the answer has remained same. There's never anything new happening in my life. Or that I am not making it happen in my own way. Everyday it's the same routine of work, work and more work. I meet the same people, at the same place and more so at the same time, too!!! I have become so much attuned to the routine that I now know, who will speak what, when and how.

There's absolutely nothing new happening in my life. Rather, I am stuck to it for the last so many years. There are some things that never get resolved. The more I think about those matters, the more complicated it seems. Moreover I feel that I am living someone else's dream. I have always lived other's dream. In the process, I have completely lost my self - my very self.
I would have loved to do so many things, but there is always a moral dilemma that makes me short of doing anything new. Because most of those things do not pertain to my profession or to my office. So I always feel that I wouldn't be doing justice to my profession. My work. I have really lost myself bit by bit all these years. I could see it coming.

Or am I just looking at one side of the coin? Isn't grass supposed to be greener on the other side of the fence?

It never gets resolved. It just pushes me further into the labyrinth.

I know the reason for all this. Maybe I am just not courageous enough to accept it. Nor bold enough to make amends.

So there's absolutely nothing new happening in my life. Perhaps, there might be in my death!!! Who knows!!!