Hmm... Finally it's sinking in... slowly, but for sure... I will have to live with the knowledge that the persons I love most are angry with me... so much that, they might never talk to me again... All my attempts to get back to them have been in vain... Nothing seems to change their mind... Somehow I like their stubbornness... They atleast stand by their principles...!!! It pained in the initial days... Now that has started to heal... Time always does that... Slowly, the pain would erase... But can it erase the memories??? It would keep coming back... It does keep coming back... To Him I have told what place He has in my life... I have asked Him to perform a task that would liberate me forever... Well, He hasn't replied to it, as yet... But I am sure, He would one day... If not till the day I am here, definitely He would perform that task when I am there... Or rather on the day when I am there... That - His action - would liberate me...
I cannot ask for their forgiveness... 'Coz I know, I do not deserve that... The only redemption then, is for me to carry this realisation every moment of my life... All of a sudden this pang of emptiness crops up in the midst of a very busy work life... I remember the futility of all my attempts... I wonder - what would they be doing at that very moment... As I wonder at this moment when I am writing this... And of all those moments, which "could have been"...!!!
Am sorry Prem... Am sorry Manu... Am sorry Shampz... And am sorry Vishal... !!!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
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3 comments:
Once you know you dont deserve forgiveness and you are so sure that you cannot ask for it as well, that actually means u dont need it anyways.
Forgiveness for what? and why? You decide whom do you wanna be with, what you actually wanna be and what you acually pretend to be, you decide what should be your cource, which way to go. You make your own choices, which book to choose and which is to be dumped and the one you choose you never complete and then start reading yet another and in the process completing non, Ppl are just charactes and lifes any other story. so, forgiveness for what and from whom???
Don't worry kid, the "pain" will heal. ummm.. memories might come back but those will not hurt, you know it!
and sorry???
THEY must be sorry, they loved you!
:D
and attempts to get back?? sorry, did I hear attemps to push away?? :P
"could have been" dear blogger, "could have been" had you not been so rigid in being so dishonest in whatever you portray.
All said and done, Happy existing!
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